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We talk about that all the time when evaluating officials. It's hard to put a finger on it but I know when I see or don't see it.
I think it starts with how the official walks on the court. Do they look confident but not arrogant. Do they look professional? How are they interacting with folks, including the coaches, players and game management.
During the game I am looking for game management skills. Making sure little things don't balloon into issues is important. Making sure the coaches behave themselves without the official being a d**k. Good mechanics help. Again, confidence that everyone sees that you know what you are doing.
I think you need to look like you want to be there and having fun. If I'm not having fun officiating than I need to find something else to do.
Just some thoughts. Certainly not everything but some things that come to mind.
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