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I will respond to the catcher who asks where a pitch was with inside, outside, high, low as the case may be.
Ticking off a catcher is not worth it in the long run. It creates really long games and ruins the relationship you need to develop with them.
Call a decently large, aggressive zone and you'll stay out of trouble.
To answer your question about how to handle a catcher complaining about balls and strikes, I like to say, hey, John, great day for a ball game isn't it? He'll probably say yes, my response, good, let's play some ball then" Quick, easy and I've told him politely to knock it off.
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