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Congratulations! Posting this thread took lots of guts. Often times we have all done something in haste which we have lived to regret. I shall cast no stones. Try to put it behind you. Sounds as if you are passionate about the sport, play hard and try to have fun.
First seasons can be pretty tough, as well as eye-opening. Remember if you will any first season in the sports you have mentioned. You weren't always the best player out there, nor will you ever be. Be patient with yourself and your teammates. By your own admission there is much room for improvement. You might be a hotshot SS but hitting that fat ball with a skinny bat can be a bit tricky. Even the best players continually hone that skill.
In sports, as in life, you reap what you sow, be it skill, or good sportsmanship. Best of luck. Hang in there.
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