Don't confuse incidental contact with accidental contact. The two terms are not synonymous. While it may seem unfair, it's the rule, as long as the hand is in contact with the ball.
And as Billy's list alludes to, there is never a "reaching" foul (contrary to one of your questions). A foul may be called for illegal contact (either with the hands or with the body), but never for "reaching."
Not that it isn't sometimes called that way, but it shouldn't be.
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