[BigT]

Summer of 2012 I was attending a college referee camp using local HS teams. On the last night it was time to go get my free lunch provided by the camp at a local restaurant. I went out and I was hot and tired. I checked my mirror saw nothing and started to back out slowly. He did the same and we bumped rear bumpers. His 70's small Toyota rusted rear fender took no damage but my brand new Altima took some damage. Instead of staying put I pulled back into space and got out and talked to him. He said he had to get to a game and was leaving the scene. I asked for him phone number and name. Called Campus police to get a report. Since its private property without clear liability all I could get him to do was pay for half the damage.

I knew I would be at his school sooner or later.

The first time I was there I came early to watch the Soph game. And I watch the VC coach and get on the two referees. At the end of the half one referee missed a kick by the visiting team and he then called it off the home team. VC was so upset he walked up to this official and he was leaving and said... that is a bull**** call. The referee failed to T him up. I think he knew he was the VC. That got under my skin. They finish their game and I have the JV game. My blood pressure is rising because again he is coaching and not really on me. From what I remember reading you cant have coaches coaching from off the bench. So I go tell the JVC that his VC needs to stop coaching from off the bench or there will be a technical foul called. Its only my third year so I am trying to find my boundaries for any possible issue. And before I went to tell the JVC I told the VC it was permitted to coach the kids from the fan section. Both blew me off and I had such a physical tight game I just decided to focus on other things.

I asked a D1 official to come early to his BV game and he had this wisdom to impart.

Let me coach the kids until the visiting (opposing coach) makes a stink. Then ask the coach to come sit on the bench if he wants to be involved with the game. Other than that ignore his remarks and treat him as a fan. If you are getting distracted treat him as a fan and have site management take care of it.

In my 1k games in 3 years I have only had to warn a few fans to settle down if they wanted to stay and watch the game. They were all wreck ball. Never let a fan get to me in a HS game. This is not a typical fan. I expect the coach to behave better. Clearly that is a wrong expectation. Here I wanted to get suggestions from you Vets how to handle and when to use the rule book to put him in place when I am having enough trouble that i NEED the book.

I visit again this Tuesday. I have been working on relaxing, enjoying myself and being more loose.

I have the Soph game and he is coaching again. No big deal the opposing coach is behaving and doing great and hasnt noticed. Then one of his kids goes to the basket. Light contact going up. Havent been calling it all game. Loose ball jump ball and a time out called by visitors. He starts to go nuts for about 4-8 seconds how that was a foul. I ignore him yet it bothers me and wanted to bring this up again. So I can learn and deal with it.

I have had coaches coach and get on us as referees. One early in the season yelled at me sarcastically "Nice mechanics" as I reported a foul on his team. Then came down with his JVC and coached his kids. Started doing little remarks at me.

I want something brilliant or being told to just ignore the butt wipes when they start this behavior.

This same D1 referee told me he had come early to a game and saw this behavior to a JV crew. Told his Varsity crew about it and because the BV coach had been so disrespectful to the JV crew they didnt give this BV coach an inch in his game.

I would appreciate any more advice and apologize for my lack of information earlier. Forgot how much you guys like details to give your great advice.