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As JRut said, it's something that will come with time. I can tell you there's a big jump from 1st to 2nd year in how comfortable you'll feel, in this and other aspects. You'll learn to recognize that there are different categories of how they'll say stuff.
"You"...fill in the blank. Unless it's relatively innocuous like "you couldn't have seen that" or "that's not your call" from the rare coach who actually knows what our coverage areas are, shut this personally directed line down quickly. Even in the example when it's not really personal, don't let it go too long.
"Travel" or "Foul"....isolated, not that big of a deal, especially if not yelled out. But it can't become a running commentary. This could be a good time to use the progression of Ignore, Acknowledge, Warn, Whack.
"Oh Come on!", "What??". Perhaps ignore at first, see where it's going. But be vigilant for it going further. This could be where a quick explanation might help. "Coach, defender had guarding position".
Work youth travel or [shudder] AAU games and you'll likely get MUCH more practice at game mgmt situations than school ball. More daddy coaches, more crazies, but more stuff that happens. Often, it's just experience that you need. You'll have T's that you don't give that will haunt you forever! But you'll never forget.
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