Advantage/disadvantage concerns fouls, not violations. 3 seconds can be called too tight (like traveling, and unlike OOB), but if the defense can get a turnover by legally trapping a player in the lane, why wouldn't you call it?
If some OOO partner announced that "we" weren't calling 3 seconds that night, I would likely have 3 of them in the first quarter.
But the OP seems to be mainly about speaking to a coach (hence the thread title). Answer questions, ignore comments, enforce the 3 P's.