Quote:
Originally posted by rainmaker
Okay, so I'm frantically trying to keep up here, but it's definitely difficult.
I'm going to be out of town for the weekend, but Monday evening or Tuesday morning, I'll print out all this stuff, and rate it all, and get some help finding some cute little gif files of ribbons and other award type things, and post prizes on Wednesday. That sound okay?
Here's another great joke: just to goad everyone to greater heights:
Okay, so a Jew, a Palestinian, a Shi'ite woman, Jesus, Moses, George Bush, and Slobodan Milosevic walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke!?!?"
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VERY FUNNY JUULIE!!
Two priests were going to ISRAEL on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc.
The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father" - "Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?
The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits-these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them-and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc.
After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.)
Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "Good morning, Father," "Good morning Father," and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it and said. "Just a minute, young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?"
"Oh, Father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!" .
AND NOW FOR MARK:
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."
@@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$$$$$
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork...Have you actually ever tasted it?
The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."
Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too...I know you're supposed to be celibate. But...."
The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice."
There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"
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A JEWISH man is trying to understand the nature of God and asked him: "God, how long is a million years to you?"
God answered: "A million years is like a minute."
Then the man asked: "God, how much is a million dollars to you?" And God replied: "A million dollars is like a penny."
Finally the man asked: "God, could you give me a penny?" And God says: "In a minute."
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