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I noted several things that you did in this sitch that could be perceived as arrogant. First, I noted to your statement to the crowd. The phrase "I don't care," no matter how intended, makes you sound arrogant. You probably mean that it's not relevant, but if you really meant I don't care, that indicates a bit of an attitude. Additionally, you started down a road of trouble by responding to the crowd, and probably provided more fuel to the fire and more ammo for their argument against you. Ignoring them would have been a better position to take, or responding much more neutrally - "he behaved in xyz manner, and that is a T." In heated situations, neutral, non-judgmental statements are best.
The second thing I reacted to was your readiness to ditch the game. You had no cause to leave. You did have cause to eject the coach, but you don't indicate that you did so. It appears from my reading that, at this point, the situation got under your skin a bit. If it did, you may have been showing to all watching an attitude that they don't expect from a ref.
The last thing I noted was what has already been a addressed, your statement to the assigner, which can be taken muliple ways but may indicate to a listener that you think you are above it all.
You may only appear this way when things go south and players or coaches behave in an inappropriate manner. I would give the same guidance that I give my players when we deal with an unsportsmanlike team, a trainwreck of a table (fouls wrong, score wrong, etc.) or a difficult official. We control only our behavior. We may get frustrated by what is going on around us, but we still have a task to do - play a game. We must remain above the fray - I insist on that from my players, assistant coaches, and parents.
You have a task to accomplish that must override all other impulses going on in your brain. You need to be the leader on the court when everybody else is letting their emotions get to them. Emotional reactions in heated situations are the most difficult to control, but you must show that control. And is it possible that in the lower level games you allow yourslf to be frustrated by the completely unknowledgeable and immature behavior?
And maybe I am way off base and you already appear calm under fire, and that unbelievable calm makes you look aloof and arrogant - I'm not watching you, so it is hard for me to say. Just some thoughts based on your description of events.
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