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1. "call it both ways ref"
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if Dave has just called a foul such as "blue - 24, 2 shots" he will say "OK coach, 24 - blue, 2 shots - that's both ways - satisfied now?"
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2. "look at the fouls ref, it's 7 to 1"
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"Glad to hear you can count. Those hours watching Sesame Street have really paid off."
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3. "he went over his back ref" This is during a rebound with his player in front of the opponent and no call is made.
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"Yeah - and he'll probably do it 10 more times - what's your point?"
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4. "when are you going to call the 3 secs ref"
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"About 3 seconds after you learn the rule."
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5. When you make a blocking call on his player and the coach insists that he was set.
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"Yeah coach, and pigs can fly."
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6. "Isn't the hand part of the ball" This would be on a shot attempt.
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"If that was true, then his hand would have gone through the basket."
Of course comments are used only by a trained professional on a closed course. Kids - don't try this at home.
