I refuse to do adult softball. Heck, I hated it when I played. I sure as heck don't want to subject myself to the pains of umpiring it.
Besides, I just don't look good in shorts... 
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"Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist." -- Bob Uecker
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