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The saying "you could probably call holding on every play" is a truism. But what you want to do is call holding in close line play when the offensive player gains an advantage over the defender. Otherwise, a two hour game turns into a four hour game.
I rate my umpire on holding calls as to whether the call takes an advantage or is a take-down. Take-downs must always be called. Jersey-grabs while usually inconsequential should always be called -- the defensive coach will think you are not there.
As to the size of players. John Madden in "One Knee Equals Two Feet" has a chapter on selecting players. It offers some good insight into what he considers the ideal team.
For instance, he talks about selecting a left guard that is faster than the right guard because when you use pulling guards the left guard has to move to get into position with the right guard.
Or the one I like and it was highlighted in the New York Giants -- San Francisco 49ers playoff game. As centers get older they tend to get more errant snaps because they want to move faster to make the block.
In other words, good coaching is what determines the game. If offensive linemen must hold, then we must penalize. It is the coach's job to get players skilled and conditioned for the game.
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