[lawump]

Best "first game" play I ever had was two years ago. First game of the year that had a larger school (that was good) against a smaller school that was not so good. Game is clearly going to be a "mercy game" (high school rules).

In the fifth inning, large school brings in a kid who is pitching for the first time ever in a high school game. After getting two quick outs, F1 walks a batter on four pitches. F1 now pitching from the stretch. F1 comes set and then turns his shoulders (a lot) to look over at R1 so I call a balk. Coach asks, "what did he do?" I tell him and coach completely agrees and tells F1 that he can only do that before he comes set.

On the very next (attempted) pitch, F1 fails to come anywhere close to stopping. I call a balk. Head coach does not argue at all; he just yells at his pitcher to "take your time and come set." [This was a very, very blatant balk.]

Now with an R3, F1 engages the pitcher's plate in the windup position. Head coach yells, "you've been pitching well from the stretch, go to the stretch." About five players/coaches from the dugout yell immediately, "step off correctly." For about two seconds I think time stopped and I swear I could actually see gears moving inside F1's head. You could then see the confusion come over his face and of course he steps back off the rubber with his non-pivot foot. "Balk!" F1's team's entire dugout came unglued dying of laughter. I swear some players were on the floor of the dugout they were laughing so hard. It is the closest I've ever come to breaking out in laughter on a baseball field as an umpire.

In the end, the offensive player took four straight balls for a walk and then scored on three balks before another pitch was thrown. And on top of that, there was not a single argument about any of the balk calls...they were all so blatant. Just when you think you've seen everything in baseball...