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My fantasy answer to one of the lines:
"It's the first time in 22 years of coaching...."
"No it isn't."
I whacked a coach during a Christmas tournament two years ago and he told me, "That's only my third technical in 14 years." When I got together with a group of officials at the watering hole afterwards, there were 6 technicals in the last 5 years *at my table*.
So anytime a coach uses a line like that, I assume they're lying or incredibly forgetful.
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