Bits, both of your questions are answered by your "signature":
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Good judgement comes from experience. Experience? Well...that comes from poor judgement.
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The technical answer is that you call a held ball when two opponents are holding the ball so tightly that neither can secure sole possession without undue roughness. The real world answer is that you have to see it. You see enough of these situations and eventually you will know -- well, at least you get a "feel" for -- when neither player is going to come up with it.
As far as fouls go, nobody gets to jump on top of another player, even when the ball is loose on the floor. Nobody gets to pull somebody else's arm off of the ball. Nobody gets to push (by extending the arms) another player out of the way to get to the ball.
I think that as you see more plays, you'll start to have a feel for when you need to kill the play to prevent that "undue roughness".
Chuck