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First of all, I don't know what state you're from, but I know in some places, the best soccer refs refuse to do high school games, for various reasons. To answer your question, coaches have a responsibility to instill in their players a sense of sportsmanship and respect for the game. I think soccer is one of those games lacking the most in that respect in America, particularly because their is not as much history as in football or baseball. But if a coach doesn't do this, it is the responsibiliy of the officials to ensure the games are played within the sprit and letter of the rules, including sportsmanship.
As for the coach, I believe what you saw were two warnings. One would have been an informal warning, just to keep quiet. The other was probably a formal, booked caution, but no card was shown. I don't know what rules your state plays under concerning misconduct, but unless local rules allow it, cards are not shown to anyone other than players and subs.
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