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I was taught to NEVER approach a coach to inform him of your call before you make it. The reason for this is simple, it will either welcome intimate confrontation or appear like you are discussing something with him without having the other coach/manager present. Signal the call after you and your partner confer. Hopefully, you held your conference away from players and coaches. By signalling your call, you have stated your decision for all to see. If the coach charges out, handle it.
In the Lakewood play, without knowing his demeanor, I suggest that the coach would have been just as upset if you broke your huddle and then approached him to change the play. Being near him doesn't negate his response to a perceived slight. Maybe you could have convinced him to not be upset, but professional umpires are taught to respect distance and be assertive when getting a call right.
Make your call, let him charge out, listen to his questions and respond when appropriate. This is routine situation handling. Approaching a coach, often in front of his dugout only brings you closer to the lion's den. It works for me and has for almost thirty years.
Sunshine and 50's tomorrow. My season doesn't start soon enough. Enjoy yours.
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