[letemplay]

I'll share my story on the thread subject. After about 12 years of calling hs boys varsity and some community college ball, I sat down as my kids reached hs playing age. I have to say, being in the stands as a parent of a player now was quite eye opening. At first I tried, as others have said here, to explain calls and rules to those friends/parents that sat nearby. After a bit, I gave up and just sometimes sat away from those that knew me and my background. Some folks would like the education, most thought I was only supporting my zebra brethren. They knew I knew all the guys on all the games and their preconceived notions surfaced. I found myself also in a bit of inner turmoil as I watched, just as the other parents would, my own kid perform on the court, and be involved in plays that were decided by guys I knew, mostly guys I considered top quality refs. Occasionally, the team would travel into territory of another officials association such as for regional or state play in games. Funny how my feeling of these crews changed since I didn't know these guys, and I became more of a "fan", occasionally being critical, especially, and I'll readily admit this, when I felt my kid got a bum deal. Only human nature I kept telling myself. When he moved on to play college ball well out of the area, and the few times I was able to watch him in person, I began to notice things that I made mental notes I would do if I ever came back to officiate. I felt I could become a better official, if by no other reason than kinda seeing it from that view. I saw what I perceived in hs and college as phantom calls, calls in the moment just because there looked to be something that needed to be cleaned up. Then I remembered doing the same thing at times and for instance maybe wrongfully calling the third foul first half on some nameless faceless kid on some meaningless (to me) mid season game..wrongful in that I might have been guessing on the play or trying to clean something up. I can assure you that player was not nameless to his parents or coach or their fans. That one foul could have changed the nature of the game for the kid personally and the team. I too had felt this as a Dad in the stands, and I vowed to try to do a better job when I came back, mainly in the area of referring the defense more. Try to be sure that kid has actually done something (by rule of course) to deserve that penalty, not just kinda been in the wrong spot. In discussion with my former comrades in stripes about returning to action, I was always quick to say I thought everybody should take a few years and watch from the stands as a parent as I did. Now this may mean only that I needed improvement, not others, but I did find it quite enlightening from a lot of directions.