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I'm with your partner on holding up play until the confusion is sorted out. Just as I'm not going to put the ball in play with either team having only 4 players or 6 players on the court, I'm not putting the ball in play when a team gets turned around during a time-out.
I consider this basic preventative officiating.
Now if I've pointed and called the color a few times and they still don't want to come to play, that's up to them, but I'm going to make sure I've communicated the information to them.
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