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My personal favorite, never actually spoken out loud, but I think it frequently. In response to any of the "5 against 7" "hometown officiating" "call it on both ends" line of comments, the following might be appropriate.
"If you already think I'm calling against your team, why in the world would you make a remark like that and piss me off?"
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I swear, Gus, you'd argue with a possum.
It'd be easier than arguing with you, Woodrow.
Lonesome Dove
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