Assuming I hear any of that, I'd be trying my best not to laugh. 
Maybe I'd get game management to find the kid so I can hook him up! 
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Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, given a chance to climb, they refuse. They cling to the realm, or the gods, or love. Illusions.
Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.
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