[Nevadaref]

First, welcome to the forum.
Second, you have received some excellent feedback which will truly make you a better official if you are ready to take the next step and put it into practice.
Third, don't be turned off of this site by the bluntness of JR's responses. That's just his style. He if very direct and critical. However, I can tell you that he is almost always right and that his thoughts will help you improve. Just consider it tough love.

Now for my comments.

I believe that you know that you didn't deal with this coach in a timely manner and that is why the contest spiraled into the abyss. Since you know that already, there is no reason for me to go through your post and state the critical moments. Snaqwells actually did a fine job of that in post #5. I really believe that you need to fundamentally alter a couple of your notions about what is acceptable behavior and where an official should draw the line.
Specifically, here is what I mean.

Originally Posted by NCMTNRef

He barks the whole first half. Nothing excessive, and nothing to warrent a T other than just constant whining over everything.

Partner and I answered his legitimate questions which were not many. At half we decide to let him continue as long as he didn't cross the line.

1. Barking the whole half/quarter or constant whining over several decisions ARE EXAMPLES OF BEHAVIOR WHICH ARE EXCESSIVE AND DO WARRANT A T. You need to adopt that mindset immediately. Don't ever again think, "Well, he hasn't done/said anything that bad." Become acquainted with what we call the ABS T. The ABS = accumulation of b@*l sh#t. So when considered collectively his whole actions equate to a deserved T.

2. You and your partner made a tremendous mistake IN YOUR THINKING at halftime, which directly led to the game becoming a nightmare in the 2nd half. You were still looking for the one explosion moment from the coach when in fact he had already sneaked across the line without your knowing it, but instead of the two of you stating that you mishandled the first half and going into the 3rd quarter with the mindset of dealing with his behavior, you guys actually decided to allow him to continue his poor behavior! You must rid your mind of this approach. You need to look in the mirror and say three times, "Nip it in the bud."

Originally Posted by NCMTNRef

Thanks for the replies. If this was a normal high school varsity game we would not have gone nearly as far as we did on this occasion. I actually have a reputation as being a guy with a quick trigger but in the championship game of a travel tournament, i try to avoid controversy as much as possible because there is nothing that can happen to these guys other than being removed from the gym. No suspension or nothing.

Now here is where the tough love of JR comes in. You have another mental approach that needs to be fixed. NO EXCUSES! You can't treat championship games differently. You can't treat star players differently. You can't treat big-name coaches differently. You can't avoid the necessary confrontation and tough task of assessing a deserved penalty in a critical situation, if you want to be respected as an official.
JR told you that you can't make excuses for not taking care of business. You allowed yourself (and your partner did too) to be walked all over for way too long because you somehow thought that this was an important game or a summer tournament in which there is no follow-up, and therefore, you needed to put up with more. That's totally false.
Get that kind of thinking out of your head.

If you are selected for championship games or other important assignments, it is because of the job that you NORMALLY do. Don't change that. If anything, the bigger the stage, the more important that it is for you to take care of business right away and not allow problems to develop. (That's how you'll keep getting those games.) You can achieve that through strong and effective communication from the start.

Originally Posted by NCMTNRef

His questioning of my integrity plus the name calling probably should have been enough to warrent ejection before he met me at half court. However after he met me there, I basically knew that I had given him way too much leeway and he needed to be taken care of.

Absolutely. As I previously wrote, you already know this. It's inside of you already. It is now a matter of spending a bit of time reflecting on this game and resolving to not let such happen again. You can do that by immediately changing your mental approach and in the future respecting yourself, the game, and the avocation of officiating by being strong enough to take care of business no matter what the circumstances.

Best Wishes and hope to see many contributions to the forum from you down the road.