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J. Neil,
Without seeing this one, it's impossible to know for sure how each of us might handle it due to the fact that it's a judgement call. Like a PI call, we might each see it and call it a bit differently.
From your description, I would probably have held my flag, but got in front of the kid to have a discussion. But, I will hasten to say that since I didn't see the play, my answer is hypothetical and I'm not criticizing your call.
My method to deal with this would be to first get his attention (as you guys know, many of these kids keep walking or pretend not to hear you). If I have to, I'll ask him away from the huddle and force him to look me directly in my eyes. Then, I explain that this is totally unacceptable, why, and that I am watching him; one foot fault and you're gone! Additionally, I sometimes verbally yell (intentionally) to the other officials "watch #28 for cheap shots). This usually (at youth level) puts the kid on the straight and narrow. Also, I'll tell the flank guys what the deal is so they can fill the coach in on what's occurring.
Now, so not to be too Pollyana, if the kid is at all disrespectful when I address him, or blows me off in any way, he has earned a flag (and usually is asked to go visit with his coach for awhile).
This method works for me in that if I didn't flag him, I have an opportunity to teach the kid a lesson in sportsmanship, discipline, and prevent future occurences in the game.
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