Quote:
Originally posted by James Neil
Dec.15, 2002, Maryland Youth Football League Championship
The Marys, (235-0) coached by Pa Joe P jr. are playing The Lands (234-1) coached by Mr James Nayzium
Officials (attending by special invitations)
Referee: Mr. ABoselle
Umpire: Mr. James Neil
Head Linesman: Mr. The Ref of Oz!!!
4 minutes into the first of the three 5 minute periods (Using Maryland youth football rules games last no longer then 25 minutes)
The Lands have the ball 4/10 @ K-40 , K2 punts a high short kick that lands mid field , While the balls in the air K52 blocks R75 in the back @ K-45 . Before the ball's been touched by any R player, K9 muffs the ball @ R-48 where it then rolls to the R-15, R32 recovers and advances to the R-25. During R32s runback R4 holds K15 @ R-35.
Seconds after Mr. ABoselle tossed his flag for K52s block in the back he slips in the mid-field mud puddle and busts his noggin on a sprinkler head and is out for the duration. Mr. Neil runs smack into Mr. Nayzium who is on the field yelling about the holding by R4 and he is also incapacitated for the remainder of the game. Mr. The Ref of Oz!!! knows the right thing to do is step in, give the options and cover for his crew mates. He contemplates asking the game announcer , a certain well respected Fanofficial Mr. Derock to join him and finish the game but thinks better of it when he see Mr. Derock engaged in fisticuffs with an irate mother who want to know why he's not in there with these clowns who havent called tripping on her Little Johnny Runningback in any game hes played all year . So Mr. TRoO!!! goes it alone and gives these options
8^)
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With Mr Neil and Aboselli flat on their faces (bums), the coaches, players, and parents close in on Oz to confront him about the options. Oz puts up a valiant fight but is no match for the coaches AND parents who have taken the field. One coach shoves Oz while another took his whistle. Then a kid starts to urinate on Oz's shoes while 2 parents screamed insults at him. Oz, "all but one" second from being mauled by this angry out of control mob, reaches for his flag and tosses it straight up in the air as hard as he could. When the flag reached its highest point, it exploded with a call for help message in stars that read, "Derock, save us!" Meanwhile, Derock sat in the stand laughing as he watched this all unfold. After getting one parent straight in the stands, Derock realizes that he must step forward and save these 3 officials who presumed youth games would be a breeze compared to the high school varsity cracker jack championship. Derock stands and leaps from the sideline to the middle of the field in ONE JUMP and lands directly over Oz. At that instant the angry crowd recognized Derock and immediately began to retreat back to the sideline in fear of a 15 yard penalty or even worst--EJECTION! After single-handedly clearing the field, Derock then turned his attention on the other fallen officials. He first awakened Aboselli and told Aboselli, "get some shoes with better traction OR just stay out of the middle of the field where the mud puddle is--common sense (game sense) I would think." Derock then walks up to Mr Neil, who is still lying on the ground, and kicks him in the rear end. Mr Neil jumps up and says why did you do that? Derock says, "because I knew you had to be faking--what are the chances of TWO officials getting knocked out in the same youth game?" "Had you told Mr Nayzium to stay off the field, you would have never ran into him to begin with." Finally, Derock approaches Oz and hands him his white hat, solid gold whistle, and diamond studded flag and says to him "Oz, you call this game. You're not afraid to be the leader (unlike Mr Neil who faked being incapacitated in fear of having to take the white hat) AND you have better judgement (knows when to call for help and won't run through mud puddles).