How do you handle coaches? Easily the most frequently asked question in my Association. There aren't any great one liners or zingers that puts coaches in their place (at least where we think their place is) and there isn't one answer that serves all officials equally. Since we are acknowledging that we need a solution that fits our personality, the coaches personality and the situation at the time, let me add what works for me.
I can't wait to talk to a coach once the game begins. It is always at their request or after they are chirping and think they want to get my ear. Sometimes I have to look at them (eye contact) to get them to engage me, but I do this early and as soon as possible (before they are truly upset) in the game. I don't interrupt the game but I do make myself available. My objective is to make certain that they know they are dealing with a confident official who knows the rules. Not only confident in dealing with game situations and coaches but dealing with my partners also. By the way, you will need to know the rules to do this. It doesn't hurt that I am as old or older than most coaches I see. It is fortunate because they don't see me as the "Hot Shot, Gun Slinger" trying to make a name for himself.
That said, once the coach knows that I am capable of talking to him like an adult (not a testosterone filled, competitive, I'll kick your a$$, STFU kind of guy) and that I will not ignore him, I pretty much ignore him. If I have to talk to him again, I talk to him just like I did the first time. Sometimes it doesn't work and a T is required to restore order, but rarely.
This is what works for me. I am not advocating that it will work for you. I am just giving my SMO and if it translates into something for you, good. If it doesn't, you can just STFU and I'll meet you in the parking lot to see who can kick who's a$$.
Good luck dealing with coaches.