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I have 2 thoughts:
1. Regarding this particular case, I would say it's HTBT. From your description, it doesn't sound like an intentional foul to me, but of course that's your opinion too. If I had your partner's view of the play I might think otherwise.
2. As a general rule, NFHS seems to want intentional fouls called when it's not a basketball play. I suspect that the principle to which your partner might appeal. It's a mistake, however, to apply that principle in a vacuum, independent of game management issues and the local and universal traditions of enforcement. Those factors play a role in how coaches, players, and fans expect the calls to go, which is relevant to game management.
I will add that I'm at a point in my career where I'm trying to eliminate the "stinker" from my season. That's the one call in a game that sets somebody off, not just a borderline or questionable call but one that starts making coaches think more about me than their players. The call in your situation has the potential to be a stinker.
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Cheers,
mb
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