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The coaching box is a state issue. The pregame meeting is also a state association issue. There is only a provision in the NFHS rules book to meet with the head coaches, I don't know of anything requiring the referee to meet with the captains prior to the game. So the states are free to handle this issue as they please.
In my state we have a brief chat with the captains to say hello and not much else, then go over and introduce ourselves to each head coach separately and confirm that the uniforms are legal and that sporting behavior will be displayed.
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