To answer one of your questions, in our association the driver gets .30 a mile round trip (this is for games over 50 miles away from Fairbanks) and the passenger get's $15 per diem for having to put up with the driver.
If a referee has facial hair and it is neatly kept i don't believe there is a problem, here in Alaska lots of people have beards and if you have ever seen them clean shaven your are thankfull.
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Don
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