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I think that the crucial concept here is advantage/disadvantage. Although the rules don't use it, the traditions of enforcement that I observe at every level do. If a lineman is holding 10 yards from the point of attack, what advantage has he gained? None: that hold doesn't warrant a flag (though I might tell the lineman that he'd get a flag if the ball came his way).
So I guess I distinguish between the guy who fails to throw his flag simply to avoid controversy and the guy who holds his flag because the play didn't deserve one. Although neither has thrown a flag, only one has good judgment.
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Cheers,
mb
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