[Mark Padgett]

My suggestion would be to rewrite it in pig-latin:

ADMINISTRATIVEYAY ECHNICALTAY OULFAY ENALTYPAY IMETAY IMITSLAY

Officialsyay oday everythingyay inyay eirthay owerpay otay eventpray administrativeyay echnicaltay oulsfay. Ethay ewcray arrivesyay onyay ethay ourtcay atyay eastlay ifteenfay inutesmay iorpray otay amegay imetay. Ethay efereeray eetsmay ithway ethay abletay ewcray andyay eviewsray abletay esponsibilitiesray ithway othbay ethay omehay, andyay ethay isitingvay, orekeeperscay, asyay ellway asyay ethay imertay. Ethay efereeray eviewsray ethay orebookscay, ookinglay orfay uplicateday umbersnay, illegalyay umbersnay, andyay otay eckchay atthay ethay umbernay ofyay ayersplay onyay eachyay osterray oincidescay ithway ethay umbernay ofyay ayersplay armingway upyay. Officialsyay ooklay orfay illegalyay uniformsyay, andyay illegalyay umbersnay, uringday egamepray armupsway. Onceyay ethay amegay artsstay, ubstitutessay anxiousyay otay enteryay ethay amegay areyay ivengay ethay “opstay ignsay” andyay areyay onlyyay eckonedbay enwhay allowedyay ybay uleray. Officialsyay areyay eryvay arefulcay otay ountcay ayersplay afteryay eachyay ubstitutionsay otay insureyay atthay erethay areyay onlyyay ivefay ayersplay omfray eachyay eamtay articipatingpay eforebay allowingyay ethay allbay otay ebay utpay intoyay ayplay. Officialsyay otifynay eamstay, andyay eirthay oachcay, eneverwhay ayay eamtay isyay antedgray itsyay inalfay allottedyay argedchay imeouttay. Yetay, espiteday officialsyay oingday everythingyay inyay eirthay owerpay otay eventpray administrativeyay echnicaltay oulsfay, esethay ypestay ofyay infractionsyay illstay occuryay. Allyay ofyay ayay uddensay, ityay’say ealizedray atthay erethay areyay elevenyay ayersplay articipatingpay. Ethay ornhay oundssay atyay anyay oddyay imetay, andyay ethay officialsyay areyay informedyay atthay ayay ayerplay’say umbernay isyay otnay ecordedray inyay ethay officialyay orebookscay. Excessyay imeoutstay areyay equestedray, andyay antedgray. Enwhay esethay administrativeyay infractionsyay occuryay, officialsyay ustmay ebay eparedpray otay ealday ithway emthay, andyay enalizepay emthay, orrectlycay. Ostmay officialsyay areyay amiliarfay ithway ethay ariousvay echnicaltay oulsfay atthay areyay associatedyay ithway esethay administrativeyay infractionsyay; oweverhay, officialsyay ancay ebay onfusedcay ithway ethay ariousvay imetay imitslay associatedyay ithway enalizingpay esethay infractionsyay. Ethay uleray ookbay ontainscay ordingway uchsay asyay “enalizedpay enwhay iscoveredday”, “enalizedpay ifyay iscoveredday ilewhay eingbay iolatedvay”, “afteryay ethay allbay ecamebay ivelay ollowingfay ethay irstfay eadday allbay”, “onceyay ethay allbay ecomesbay ivelay”, “ootay atelay otay enalizepay”, etcyay. Oneyay ofyay ethay easonsray ywhay officialsyay ightmay ebay onfusedcay ybay ethay imetay imitslay orfay esethay enaltiespay isyay ueday otay ethay ayway atthay uleray entay isyay organizedyay. Uleray entay isyay organizedyay accordingyay otay omwhay ethay echnicaltay oulfay isyay argedchay, usthay erethay areyay ectionssay orfay eamtay echnicaltay oulsfay, oachcay echnicaltay oulsfay, ayerplay echnicaltay oulsfay, andyay ubstitutesay echnicaltay oulsfay. Ithinway eachyay ofyay esethay ectionssay, erethay areyay ifferentday imetay imitslay otay enalizepay administrativeyay infractionsyay, ichwhay ancay ebay onfusingcay. Elowbay isyay anyay alternativeyay ethodmay ofyay organizingyay echnicaltay oulsfay associatedyay ithway administrativeyay infractionsyay. Insteadyay ofyay eingbay organizedyay ybay omwhay ethay echnicaltay oulfay isyay argedchay, ityay isyay organizedyay ybay ethay imetay imitlay orfay enalizingpay ethay infractionyay. Organizingyay esethay administrativeyay infractionsyay intoyay ixsay ectionssay accordingyay otay ethay imetay imitslay ouldshay akemay ityay easieryay orfay officialsyay otay enalizepay esethay echnicaltay oulsfay, ithinway ethay operpray imetay imitslay, orrectlycay.
1) Enalizedpay enwhay ityay occursyay, egamepray, afteryay entay inutemay imetay imitlay: ayay) Ailingfay otay upplysay ethay orerscay ithway ethay amenay, andyay umbernay, ofyay eachyay eamtay embermay owhay aymay articipatepay. bay) Ailingfay otay esignateday ethay ivefay artingstay ayersplay.
2) Enalizedpay ifyay iscoveredday eforebay allbay ecomesbay aliveyay otay artstay ethay amegay: ayay) Angingchay ayay esignatedday arterstay (ithway exceptionsyay). Ifyay ayay ayerplay artsstay owhay asway otnay esignatedday otay ebay ayay arterstay, ethay infractionyay ashay otay ebay iscoveredday, andyay enalizedpay, eforebay ethay allbay ecomesbay ivelay otay artstay ethay amegay. Onceyay ethay allbay ecomesbay ivelay, ityay isyay ootay atelay otay enalizepay isthay ecificspay infractionyay, andyay onay enaltypay ancay ebay assessedyay.
3) Enalizedpay enwhay eythay occuryay, afteryay entay inutemay imetay imitlay. Esethay eethray infractionsyay occuryay enwhay ethay orerscay isyay advisedyay otay addyay otay oryay angechay ethay orebookscay. Ethay oulfay ustmay ebay argedchay enwhay ityay occursyay andyay enforcedyay enwhay ethay allbay extnay ecomesbay ivelay. Onceyay ethay allbay ashay ecomebay ivelay, ityay isyay ootay atelay otay enalizepay: ayay) Addingyay ayay amenay otay ethay eamtay embermay istlay afteryay ethay entay inutemay imetay imitlay. Enwhay uchsay ayay ayerplay egallylay entersyay ethay ourtcay, ethay ayerplay’say amenay, andyay umbernay, ustmay ebay enteredyay intoyay ethay orebookscay. bay) Equiringray ethay orerscay otay angechay ayay eamtay embermay, oryay ayerplay, umbernay inyay ethay orebookscay (ithway exceptionyay), afteryay ethay entay inutemay imetay imitlay. Ifyay erethay isyay onay equestray orfay angechay, oryay ifyay ayay eamtay embermay oesday otnay ecomebay ayay ayerplay, usthay avoidingyay ethay angechay, erethay isyay onay enaltypay. cay) Equiringray ayay ayerplay otay angechay otay ayay umbernay inyay ethay orebookscay afteryay ethay entay inutemay imetay imitlay. Ifyay erethay isyay onay equestray orfay angechay, oryay ifyay ethay eamtay embermay oesday otnay ecomebay ayay ayerplay, usthay avoidingyay ethay angechay, erethay isyay onay enaltypay.
4) Enalizedpay enwhay iscoveredday: ayay) Avinghay identicalyay umbersnay onyay eamtay embersmay, andyay/oryay ayersplay, afteryay ethay entay inutemay imetay imitlay. Isthay infractionyay isyay argedchay uponyay ethay iscoveryday ofyay identicalyay umbersnay. Onlyyay oneyay eamtay embermay aymay earway ayay ivengay umbernay, ethay otheryay ustmay angechay otay ayay umbernay otnay alreadyyay inyay useyay eforebay articipatingpay. bay) Ermittingpay ayay eamtay embermay otay articipatepay ilewhay earingway anyay illegalyay uniformyay umbernay. Isthay infractionyay isyay argedchay enwhay iscoveredday. Ethay eamtay embermay ithway ethay illegalyay uniformyay umbernay aymay articipatepay ithoutway urtherfay enaltypay andyay isyay otnay equiredray otay angechay ishay/erhay umbernay. Ifyay onay angeschay areyay ademay otay ethay orebookscay, onay infractionyay ashay occurredyay. cay) Equestingray anyay excessyay imeouttay. Ethay enaltypay orfay anyay excessiveyay imeouttay isyay argedchay enwhay iscoveredday.
5) Enalizedpay ifyay iscoveredday ilewhay eingbay iolatedvay: ayay) Avinghay oremay anthay ivefay eamtay embersmay articipatingpay imultaneouslysay, ifyay ecognizedray ybay anyay officialyay eforebay ethay allbay ecomesbay ivelay ollowingfay ethay irstfay eadday allbay. Ifyay ityay asway otnay ecognizedray ybay eitheryay officialyay, utbay asway alledcay otay eirthay attentionyay afteryay ethay allbay ecamebay ivelay ollowingfay ethay irstfay eadday allbay, ityay isyay ootay atelay otay assessyay anyyay enaltypay. bay) Ayerplay articipatespay afteryay angingchay ayay umbernay ithoutway eportingray ethay angechay otay ethay orerscay andyay anyay officialyay. cay) Eamtay embermay articipatespay afteryay eingbay emovedray omfray ethay amegay orfay isqualificationday.
6) Enalizedpay ifyay iscoveredday eforebay ethay allbay ecomesbay ivelay: ayay) Ubstitutesay entersyay ethay ourtcay ithoutway eportingray otay ethay orerscay, andyay/oryay, ithoutway eingbay eckonedbay ybay anyay officialyay, exceptyay etweenbay eriodspay. Isthay infractionyay isyay argedchay ifyay ecognizedray ybay anyay officialyay eforebay ethay allbay ecomesbay ivelay ollowingfay ethay irstfay eadday allbay. Onceyay ethay allbay ecomesbay ivelay, ethay ubstitutesay isyay ayay egallay ayerplay atyay atthay ointpay, ethay oulfay isyay otnay enalizedpay.