I wouldn't have used those words, but something along the line of, "Coach, reign in your assistant or he's risking finishing the game out in the parking lot." I know this isn't the best sounding line, but the manager will get it so fast, the assistant's head will spin.

And before you think I'm being high and mighty, yes, I've said some things I've wished back. I told a manager in slow-pitch once that his batter needed to knock off the Chevy Chase imitation of President Ford or I was going to impeach his a$$ to the parking lot. I just couldn't believe this dude was drunk enough for a coed rec game that he had to swing and miss so wildly he was falling down, and it was the second time during the game. The first time I just marked it off as him really swinging and missing, but the second, nah, I knew he was drunk off his a$$.

One inappropriate wording I heard from a partner once was "Coach, wheel yourself right out of here" while ejecting a manager who was in a wheelchair. After the game, the partner felt bad about his word choice, which he said in the heat of the moment in a travel team league.