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My problem is the lack of consistency.
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My problem is coaches that don't care about what the rule is and 1) make the official enforce it and 2) get mad when the official(s) enforce (or fail to enforce) it in a way they don't like.
If you are bothered by inconsistent enforcement, the answer is simple: don't let your players wear illegal undershirts. Tell coaches that do that you don't appreciate that and that you expect them to honor the rule. You are just as responsible as we are for making sure the rules are followed, especially when you have total control over the situation.