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When you say rec ball are these kids games or adult league? Flag or tackle? If this kind of behavior is being exhibited in front of kids, the league or rec department needs to roll some heads.
Sounds like your rec department has a major problems if they don't clamp down on this kind of behavior. From the descriptions you've given so far, it sounds like you working little more than a zoo.
We call youth football here. The coaches, are for the most part, well-meaning volunteers, most who know little about what they're doing, much less the rules. However, while they may argue some out of ignorance, usually they'll clam up long before we have to use the nuclear option.
As you progress, you'll find the arguments more intelligent, the comments wittier and cutting. The key to survival on the wing is ignore what you can, flag what you must. Anything directed at you personally should earn the flag-cursing or questioning your integrity. Now if the coach says "d---mmit" you might just let that go. If he says "d--- you" then he's gone personal.
Questioning what you saw isn't questioning your integrity. Your eyesight, maybe, your judgment, sure.
Most coaches just want to vent and once you've heard enough about it, there's nothing wrong with saying "Ok coach, I've heard you". That's usually enough to get them to move on to the next topic.
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