[wadeintothem]

Originally Posted by bniu

There are 4 kinds of umpires:

First kind will say they have a gun

Second kind will say they have a gun and show the gun

Third kind will say it, show it, and point it

Fourth kind will say it, show it, point it, and pull the trigger!

I've come really close to ejecting a few coaches but I just couldn't pull the trigger (resolution for next year: pull the trigger).

Once the runner slid in safe at home and the defensive coach just ran up and screamed at me about it, thinking back to it, I should've said scarcastically and loud enough so the offensive coach could hear it too, "You know what? You've just convinced me that there was indeed an out on the play!!!" pause to let the offensive coach get a bit edgy and then continue saying to the defensive coach, "You're the one who's out on the play!!!" and summarily eject the defensive coach.

Later that same defensive coach (they're at bat now) argues my balls and strikes and I called a strike on a pitch that clipped the lower front side of the zone and then just sunk down into the dirt and she's screaming at me, I ripped off my mask and chastised her for acting like a 3 year old out loud, and she should've been ejected but I didn't want to cause her team (14 year olds) to forfeit the game if I threw her out so I let her stay in, it did get her to shut her trap for the rest of the game though I later found out that they could just get a parent in to coach the rest of the game.

I'm thinking, next time a coach pulls that **** on me, i'll say: "Look, adults are in this game to be role models to kids, so why don't you learn something from your players?" (her players, all young teenagers behaved like they were at church) or I'll go criticize her in game decisions and tell her that her strategy was the dumbest strategy i've ever seen and when she tells me to stop, i'll say: "Hey, this is FUN!!! No wonder why you like to heckle so much!!!" and then eject her.

I don't want to let them walk all over me and I'm not afraid of tossing a lit match into a pool of gasoline and I figured, heck, i've already lost some control of this game by letting her yell at me, might as well have some fun with it...

If this were an adult league, I think some F--- You Calls are in order...

First you need to make sure you are doing your job correctly. If you are improperly doing job and causing yourself trouble because you have not taken the time to learn the game or its mechanics - you are the root cause of the trouble. Softball is not baseball with a little ball.

Your postings, including how you handled the coach above indicate you either are clueless about the game you allege to be officiating or you are intentionally posting BS. The mask thing makes me think the latter; however, giving you the benefit of that doubt that you are not full of crap and want to learn this game - stop posting ANYTHING about what you do, since it is incorrect and we dont need to know about it (not to mention you are impressing no one with your obvious lack of knowledge and skills), and start asking what you SHOULD do and maybe you might take the step UP to a fast pitch softball umpire.