Quote:
Originally posted by ewiar
First, I think I should clarify something. I'm sure that I probably was bending at the waist when he called me on it. As I mentioned I've been reffing relatively seriously for four years so it's pretty ingrained in muscle memory. I didn't argue vociferously with him. I just started to say "Really? I thought I was moving my feet." when he cut me off. I haven't reffed official league-sanctioned high-school games but rather JV age (and skill) level tournaments for the local select team. I dont' plan on sending the letter and I don't think I really did when I made the initial post. The cathartic release seems to have quelled my outrage and I think I'll be able to just let it go.
Thanks a lot for your support and advice.
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As others have suggested...
Try responses like "Really? OK" and leave it. Perhaps ask what you can do to fix it if appropriate. Don't ever say, "Yeah, but....". What you said ("Really, I thought...") was really only a rephrased version of "Yeah, but..."
You will often receive advice from people that will conflict with what others say and is sometimes not just a matter of opinion but flat out wrong. You can always choose to take it or leave it. However, you must use great care in determinining who expects only a "thanks" versus those who actually encourage thinking and discussion...particularly when they can impact your career. Some people have no real interest in helping you even though they appear or state that they are. Some "help" because they are required to, are asked, or think it will help them because their real interest is only their own career.
A favorite saying of mine:
A fool never learns from mistakes.
A smart man learns from his own mistakes.
A wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
Be the wise man. Observe what others do. See what helps and hurts them. Listen to what others say. Filter out the obvious BS. Consider the rest even if you disagree,they may be right. Apply what works for you.
Unfortunately, I have learned many of these things the hard way. I believe that I could have advanced more quickly and to a higher level had I been a better listener.
[Edited by Camron Rust on Oct 30th, 2002 at 07:20 PM]