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Not having seen what happened, but just based on your description, a punch is a punch. What does letting it go say to the other players on the field, some punches are OK?
You could have responded, "You're absolutely right, that was a stupid thing to do. Now you have an opportunity to teach your player not to be stupid".
You were correct in supporting your Umpire's decision as he may have seen it differently than you, and there is no way you could reverse his decision without making both of you look foolish.
Just for the record, NF:9.4.3.j uses the term "Strike" rather than punch. NF: 2.11 defines "Fighting" and again includes the word "striking" rather than punching. Disqualification is entirely a judgment call by the official throwing the flag, and should never be changed on the field. If you, as Referee, have issues with the decision they should be hashed out after you've all left the field when the game is history.
Even though ignoring the coach's second remark might not have done any good, over responding to it could have made things worse. If the problems that developed were a continuation of this dispute, one remedy might be to calmly walk over to the sideline, speak directly to the coach, as privately as possible and suggest something to the effect of,, "Coach you made your point, I heard you, so there's no point repeating it or dwelling on it. Let's play ball".
Then if he continues, whatever happens is on him.
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