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Originally Posted by mbyron
Regarding gravity: there's no such thing. The earth sucks.
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When I was in HS, I was a physics geek. I wrote something called the dark sucker theory in which there is no such thing as light. Rather, there is dark and light is the absense of dark.
Dark is faster than light. When you open a drawer, you do not see the dark escape, but you do see the light enter the drawer. When you enter a room and turn on the light, do you see the dark leave? No. But you do see the light, "light up" the room. In reality, the light bulb is a dark sucker.
Dark is heavier than light. Proof: all the dark settles to the bottom of the ocean. The light, which is lighter than dark, is on top. Ancient scientist and linguists suspected this fact, which is why they called light, "light". They could have also called dark, "heavy".
There are also naturally occuring dark suckers: they're called stars.