As for second aspect of your question, I would not pay mind to what players say to a coach coming off the court. However, if the coach asks what you called in response to their comments, I would just tell him you called a violation because they were waving their hands in a distracting manner. If he asks from the perspective of "you said XXX", I would simply say (in this case) "Coach, they can have their hands up, they can't wave them around" and leave it at that. You do not have to discuss what you did or didn't say, just explain your call and move on.
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