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In my view, the proper way to handle these things depend on both the level of play (not JUST age of the players), the level of the game, and the rule being violated.
The most leeway is given to younger rec league games early in the season on technical illegalities (how to step onto the plate, double touching, etc.)
The least leeway (i.e. none) is given to travel teams in championship play (regardless of age).
For little kids (10, 12 U) playing early season league games in a rec league, I'm talking to the coach between innings about technical pitching violations where there is no "damage" being done to the opponent (other than them not getting the benefit of the IP penalty). Usually, I will even instruct the coach to NOT say anything to his pitcher now, but deal with it during practice.
As the season progresses for these kinds of teams, I begin to expect some of these issues to have been addressed already, and will then warn and expect to call it the next time I see it. For rec-level tournaments, we are many times instructed to warn before calling any IP by the tournament UIC.
If you try to wrap this into one all-inclusive answer, you will find your self either OOO for young rec league games or too lax for travel games.
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Tom
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