[NM_Ref]

This is a post from my blog...you can see the link in my sig, but I thought I'd post it here as well.

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It took 37 games to hit the brick wall. 37 games to have that one situation...that one realization...that maybe...just maybe...I shouldn't be here.

Do I really feel that way? After 4 or 5 hours of thinking, no. But at halftime of the 37th game, I felt that way. I was ready to walk out. I was SO angry.

I did two games tonight, girls C/JV. I'll post more about that in another post.

2nd quarter of JV game. I'm lead in front of B's bench. I blow my whistle and signal foul. As I'm walking towards the table, I hear the the players on B's bench chirping. They are saying things like "That wasn't a foul!" "Come on ref." And things like that. No big deal. I go to the coach and say, "Coach, please warn your players about arguing and questioning all calls from the bench," and continue on to report my foul. Coach takes a couple steps and in a very sarcastic tone says, "Well then you need to call right."

I issue a technical to the coach. I gave him a very legitimate warning to give to his players and responded with a sarcastic remark. I wasn't going to take that. Partner give the coach the seatbelt and I move away from it all.

About 10 seconds into the second half, I'm lead again. This time in front of A's bench. I blow my whistle again to signal a foul. I look up at the clock furthest away from me to make sure it's stopped. As I glance over I notice the B's coach up off the bench about 5 feet away from his chair onto the court. As I'm going to report, I tell coach, "You need to remain seated." He sticks his hand out, giving me the stop sign and continues talking to his players. I need to point out that he was NOT reacting a play and was out on the floor COACHING his players. I give him his second T and tell him he has been ejected.

After I report all the fouls I stand in front of the table waiting for the coach to leave. What I didn't mention is that 3 veteran officails (one of which is our regional assignor) are sitting in the stands behind B's bench waiting for their Varsity game. They were sitting about 5 rows up...which is pretty far behind the bench. I notice that as the coach leaves, our regional assignor gets up and follows him out. I was pissed from that point.

We finish the half without incident and head to the locker room. I go in and sit down and begin discussing what we need to work on with my partner in the second half when he walks in. He makes a beeline towards me and starts talking.

He wants to know what the coach said to warrant the first T. I told him and he says, "No. Thats no what he said." I asked him how he knew that and he said that he was sitting behind the bench an heard. I lost it. I replied, "Thats bulls$%^, there is no way you could have heard him from way up there." I told him about the tone the coach said it in and the inflection. He told me that I need to lend an ear when a coach needs to vent. I agreed, but not in this situation. I told him that I gave the coach a legitimate warning to his bench and he responded with sarcasm so I wouldn't "lend an ear" to that. The other "veteran" even told me that in his opinion I was "glorifying" myself with my whistle. This coming from a guy that told of a story of him T'ing a coach when the coach raised his hands in the air questioning a call. "Take control of the game," he said. Yeah right.

He then told me that the second Technical was also unwarranted because I let the Home coach on the court also. He was right. I don't have a problem with a coach walking onto the court a foot or two to talk to their players...as long as they are out of the way. I know of a few refs...including the man giving me the lecture, and I told him that. I also told him that before the Technical, I was letting the Visiting coach have the same leeway as the Home coach.

I then told him that I wanted to know what he told the coach. I was very upset and lost my cool. I told him that if he told the coach the same things he told me that he sold me out and I wouldn't stand for that. He told me he just went to the coach so that he could vent...nothing more. I don't really have a choice but to believe him...so I left it at that.

I was livid...I was angry...I wanted to walk out right there. I felt thrown under the bus. I didn't feel that I was being helped in this situation. I just felt as if I was being signaled out...in front of my partner and the other referees for my actions. It made me wonder if I really wanted to continue doing what I love to do.

But I'm better than that. I know I lost it and after my game I apologized for losing it like that but still re-iterated that I felt I was justified in EVERY ASPECT of the situation.

Now it's time to write up the game report.
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