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Have you involved your wife in your reffing "world"? My wife had much the same attitude as your wife does (at least based on what you posted)...so I took (and still do) her to some games and to the end-of-the-season banquets or picnics so she could meet and get to know some of the people- esp. some of the women I work with...calmed her down tremendously - even to the point that I was able to mentor a younger female official in our HS association this year, and my wife was ok with that...
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