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LoveToRef4Ever--
The most important thing you are saying is that you know what will work for you and what won't and you are being responsible for your own situation. It's admirable that you know your own mind about a gay man being your mentor, or a woman being your mentor or mentee. You are not blaming others, just describing your own feelings. This is great, and I would hope that others would respect your boundaries.
I do think, though, that others may not have the same feelings and may react to some of these situations differently than you do. So to extrapolate from your feelings to "the women with the women, and the men with the men" is a pretty big jump. I feel comfortable having a non-sexual relationship with men other than my husband, in or out of basketball. I know how to handle my feelings if they move out of my acceptable limits. My husband feels comfortable with that, too, and trusts our marriage to hold. So neither of us has a problem if I have a male mentor. Other people have to define their own boundaries, and handle their own situations. Why should the few really good women in our association be required to mentor all the rest of us up-and-comers because some folks might be tempted to overstep in a male/female mentoring relationship? What Rockyroad said about getting the best mentor regardless of gender or race, is probably the best rule. With the occasional extra conversation with a certain other person or two who can answer those "minority-specific" questions.
[Edited by rainmaker on Jun 3rd, 2002 at 10:43 AM]
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