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I think the thing here is that there is no one right way, whether or not to T or how many Ts called has a lot to do with personal philosophy about how to best manage and control a game. There are times when there are Ts that are warranted, but that also could have been prevented at an earlier point in the game. I think experience, introspection and reviewing games/tapes helps determine those times. Addressing actions earlier in a game can establish a boundary for later in the game. If actions go unaddressed early, there may come a time later where a coach deserves a T and crosses the line, but that situation might not have arisen if the official had been more preventative early on.
There are also some officials who use the T a lot more liberally in order to control the game. In these cases, the Ts aren't necessarily notches on the belt, but more strictly meted out and done so consistently over a period of time. Coaches know when they see an official like this what they're in for, so they have to adjust, and that's one way to control and be in charge of a game. Right or wrong, that's the way that works for some.
Either way, there's no right way. The one thing that we definitely do need to consider are the causes of coaches popping off, because there's always a reason. Is it because of my judgment? Is it because of the time and score of the game, and it's an emotional reaction? Is he protecting a player? Figuring these things out I think are necessary for an effective response and evaluation of response to improve next time. Just assuming that the coach is an idiot (which can be the case a lot of times) without evaluating fully the situation, in my opinion, is the wrong approach and restricts improvement and development.
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