I would say that we are not playing tag, we are playing football.
Here are the exceptions from 4-2-2.
1. The ball remains live if, at the snap, a place-kick holder with his knee(s) on the ground and with a teammate in kicking position catches or recovers the snap while his knee(s) is on the ground and places the ball for a kick, or if he rises to advance, hand, kick or pass.
2. The ball remains live if, at the snap, a place-kick holder with his knee(s) on the ground and with a teammate in kicking position rises and catches or recovers an errant snap and immediately returns his knee(s) to the ground and places the ball for a kick or again rises to advance, hand, kick or pass.
I see no provision for the defense to be able to touch the holder and cause the ball to become dead. Tackle the holder so that either he is in possession of the ball away from the eventual spot of the kick or make him lose possession of the ball. The exception allows only knee(s) to be on the ground. If the defender can cause something other than the knee(s) to touch the ground, other than feet or hands, then I would say that the holder has been tackled and the ball is now dead.
However I do see the issue in that a defender could be laying on the holder but the holder is still able to keep the ball on the tee and the kicker makes the kick. It does present an interesting scenario. It would all be solved if you just tell the defender to go for the ball and not the holder.
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