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I see no problem in holding a coach to a different standard when it comes to talking to opposing players. Players are emotionally involved in the game with peers. Now and then, in this day and age, there's going to be some comments, and I have no problem warning a player before whacking them if it's not out of hand.
A coach, on the other hand, has absolutely no business at all interacting with players from the opposing team in any way, shape, or form. I'm not saying I'd definitely give a flagrant in this situation, just that I'd give a flagrant to a coach for this type of behavior before I'd give one to another player.
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