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I will rub down all balls into the game. If the player is still not happy with that, I will let them apply some dirt/sand/whatever the playing surface is to rub it down more.
However, I will not allow them to bend over and scuff the ball on the ground. Grinding a ball into the ground does more than just remove the finish.
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The bat issue in softball is as much about liability, insurance and litigation as it is about competition, inflated egos and softball.
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