[aceholleran]

A woman takes her dog--who's a little long in the tooth--to the vet. "He seems to be having trouble breathing," says the owner.

The doc does a quick exam and announces, "Not to worry, ma'am. At his age, he has too much hair up his nose. I'm going to prescribe a depilatory for him. But be careful, this stuff has to be diluted with water. The pharmacist will give you instructions."

She goes to the pharmacist who says, "Lady, this stuff is powerful. If you're going to use it on your legs, cut it 3 to 1 with water."

She says, "It's not for my legs."

The pharmacist says, "OK. If you're going to put it on your upper lip, cut it 5 to 1 with water."

She says, "Look, mister. It's not for my lip."

"Well, lady. As I said, this is powerful stuff. You have to tell me how you're going to use it!"

She says, "It's for my Schnauzer."


[pause]






"Fine," says the pharmacist. "Then cut it 10 to 1 with water and don't ride a bicycle for two weeks."

Ace in CT