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Mowing and Beer
On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer
and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she
came over and shouted at me,
"You should be hung!"
I took a drink from my can of Coors Light, wiped the cold foam from
my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly
into the eyes of this nosy a*s neighbor and then calmly replied,
"I am. That's why she cuts the grass."
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Umpiring is the only profession that you are expected to be perfect the first day and improve from there. 
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