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Originally Posted by Texas Aggie
However, I do agree with you that there may be better things to say to coaches. I try to limit warnings, as if they aren't carried out, you've lost credibility. Put up the stop sign or make a verbal warning something like "coach, you've had your say," followed by blowing the whistle and letting your partner(s) know by stating, "coach/bench has been warned." Further infractions warrant a T.
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I notice a lot of officials have trouble in this area when it comes to communicating in the game with a coach. At times, I have to check myself as all it takes is one little slip and downhill she goes.
Case in point, game just started, F/T situation, I'm administrating. After the 2nd shot, coach felt that a player stepped into the lane too early. I didn't see anything unusual. As I'm going up the court after the F/T's, the coach gives me a lecture on when a player can step in, and I'm like, what! I couldn't believe it. So I told the coach, don't talk to me! But I meant to say I know what the rule is, I don't need you to explain it to me, but of course I didn't have enough time to say all of that, so out it came. When I got up the court, I realize that that response was way too harsh on my part, uncalled for, and creates a hostile or negative environment between me and the coach, right off the bat. At the first dead whistle I went right to the coach and apologize for my negative comment and that I didn't see it and will watch it closer the next time. He in turn apologize to me and said he wasn't trying to show me up. Luckily, I got things back to square one between us.
The reason I'm sharing this is so that you can see how easy it is to setup a negative environment with your response. The coaches impression of me after that comment is that I'm a dick, rightfully so. Never, ever speak to a coach in this manner. Choose your words carefully and if you don't have the time to think it thru before responding, then don't respond (silent can't be quoted). Now, if a coach is out of line, like I reason him to be here. I have a 3 strike and you're out (that's a T) policy. What I mean is I walk up the court, and he complains, I got no comment or no time to answer. I come back down and he's still complaining or talking about the same incident (kid stepped into the lane too early). I then turn to go back up the court, and he's still complaining. That's 3 strikes, that's a automatic T in my book. Now, I do take the incident into consideration. This incident is a very small issue, especially in the beginning of the game and I view it as being disrespectful to argue that point to this degree. Plus, what is this guy going to do when something serious happens? I'm going to nip this in the bud right now. Call a T, report constant complaining from the coach to the table. Make sure the coach hears this. This gets the point across and you never said one word. I'm also not mad at him, I'm not going to showcase him with an empathic T signal either. He also gets to remain seated afterwards. Now the coach can do some reflecting of his own, like was that issue really worth pushing to the extent that he did. Those two points could cost him the game. Oh, and one more thing and I know this isn't right but wait until they got the ball so that he loses possession as well. Sorry but that's the price you pay for constantly complaining.
I wish I would have done this instead of what I did because this is way more effective. I open my mouth and dug a hole 6' deep for myself, but the point is it's so easy to do, and most of us probably don't even realize we're doing it.
I'm starting to lean away from warnings mainly because I don't agree with passing the buck to my partners. If I'm having a problem with the coach it's my responsibility to take care of it, not my partners. Likewise, I don't want my partners problems with the coach either. Don't put me in the middle of this.