[Adam]

Rita, looks like you did a good job maintaining your cool. Also, it looks like she has a history of this kind of behavior in your games; I'd be inclined to refuse to work games at that location any longer. It looks like she has an inflated opinion of her responsibilities.
Middle school games can be rough because players aren't capable of playing.
Middle school games can be rough because coaches want to officiate.
Middle school games can be rough because partners may or may not be experienced.
Middle school games aren't worth it if the site administrater thinks she can micromanage the officiating during the game.